Tuesday, August 31, 2004

It Didn't Work

When I want to fill up my mind with something I like to think about, I have to empty it first. It’s 11:30 pm and it’s been a full day. Ok. I’m emptying it….emptying it…emptying it….. Sassy’s tugging at my toes….emptying it….ouch… emptying it…Sassy’s biting now….emptying it….Oh shucks! Ok, my head’s still full, blame Sassy. My thoughts are really a total mess. I am still amazed that Sam dated me at a Japanese resto, bought me three new pairs of shoes , and a new Carlton badminton racket that comes with a cool red bag! I mean he did everything at one time! I’m just not used to not paying anything! Would he ask me to pay his cellphone bill when it’s due? That’s a tremendous possiblity! Maybe I’d pay for the my car being done at Ziebart too!

I barely talked to my kids today and I wonder if they felt like they missed one thirdh of their life. ‘Cause that’s how I feel whenever I don’t bond with them! Were they relieved that I’m almost out of their affairs? Did they actually say yahoo, yehey, wohoo? If my kids were like Rishi, they probably would have rejoiced! (True, Rish?)
Lunching out with three guys who are really after the errors that’s been committed in my department isn’t exactly my idea of a pleasant time, but I enjoyed it anyway. Well, it helped that Ariel’s order of deep fried frogs’ legs were not available. Derek’s been talking like a long time friend and I wasn’t at all faking being nice to Leo. May I have the tolerance to entertain and attend to these chinky eyed, fair yellow-skinned, creatures that bug my life every five months or six months.
Next time, maybe I can empty my mind, and probably say something that makes more sense. Bear with me now please. Oh, yeah, special friend out there, I can’t stop thinking about you too! I’ll have you right here in my heart as I sleep tonight!!! Goodnight!

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/31/2004 11:55:00 PM

Monday, August 30, 2004

Celebrate Life!

Saturday: Late night movie with family, hanging out at Seattle's Best with Han and Anjo and Sam, sipping Frafuccino's and mocha cafe's, pigging out on belgian waffles and blueberry muffins and other such delights, watching a local band perform at the open promenade. Yes, let's celebrate life!

Sunday: Surprisingly early at church at 8:09 a.m., happy morning choir practice open forum at the professional couple's Victory class provided a healthy exhange of no-nonsense ideas. Some shared bits of sadness but with hope, some shared joys unspeakable, some simply made their presence known, by smiling, by shaking hands, by laughing. It all makes a lot of sense to me, these things we do to keep aflame with the beauty of ourselves, in the wonderful bosom of God, nourished by His Word. Such fellowship, such sharing, such love! My heart is overwhelmed as I take on at all these and I wanted to break out in a song!

Sometimes life seems like words and music, that can't quite become a song. So we cry inside, and we try again and wonder what could be wrong. But when we turn to the Lord at the end of ourselves, like we've done a time or two before, we'll find His truth is the same as it's always been, we never will need more. He's all we need for our every need, we never need to be alone. Still, He'll let us go if we choose to, to live life on our own. Then the only good that will ever be said, of the pain we find ourselves in, they are places to gain, the wisdom to say, "I'll never leave Him again."

It's not in trying but in trusting. It's not in running but in resting. It's not in wondering but in praying that we find the strength of the Lord!

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/30/2004 08:20:00 AM

Friday, August 27, 2004

Kleenex, please!

I hate crying at funerals but then, I almost always do, even if it's a far out relative like my husband's Uncle Vicente. At least I didn't beat his kids into it. Yvonne, the youngest of them, wailed like a mad cow as the men lowered that expensive silver box put inside another white concrete box using pulleys. Celi, the doctor, stood tough except that I saw her fighting back her tears as her shoulders shook at the mass held earlier in the chapel. Ditas, the nurse, who flew right out from US was quite poised, but her eyes were already swollen red due to sleeplessness and crying.

I liked Ditas instantly when I saw her. She stood from that front pew at the funeral parlor two nigths ago and greeted me as if we've known each other for ages. She hugged me and kissed me and while I bussed and hugged back, it took a while for me to figure out that she was the eldest of the three sisters that lost their dad. She exuded warmth, sincerity and she spoke well. Auntie Cely, their mom, looked calm but agonized, and I felt so much for her as she looked down and saw the last of her lover, her best friend and her lifelong companion. I shed tears, how embarrassing, but can't find my packet of Kleenex. Goodness, Genevieve, Sam's other cousin borrowed it and didn't care to return! Ok, let the tears dry by itself! Genevieve tugged at her Dad and whispered to him that he will also be experiencing the same joy ride inside a box by the pulleys sometime and, would you believe, Esther, her sister, seconded the motion! The old man must have felt really bad, and so I gave that hmmp look at the two naughty ladies, but they just laughed as their dad said " I can't do anything about that."

It felt weird seeing Sam and Genevieve taking videos and pics of all the events and people there earlier, especially those who stood by the side of the dead, who I thought, got overexposed even when he couldn't say "cheese" anymore. Imagine, the people actually posed beside the dead!

As Celi announced that they were hosting lunch at The Fort, Sam and I wondered what it was we were celebrating, surely not uncle's dying! Oh great, Celi, now looking bright, introduced us to her boyfriend who came in late, an army ex-colonel, Geoffrey. Maybe I committed a blunder because Celi's eyes widened at me when I kinda asked, "Is he the first one I've heard?" Oh, well, blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better of themselves even after committing a blunder. Now, where was I?

Yvonne was suddenly cheerful at lunch, and Sam asked her, where have you just been? It seemed like we're on a TGIF gimmick as the place buzzed with happy folks greeting one another and feasted on about eight courses of dishes that liberally flowed onto each table. Auntie Cely came to me, thanked me for the black blazer she wore, and complimented me as very "guapa" in my black flowy dress with embroidered hem! I felt like her true niece and their true cousin, much loved, very much accepted. Over our rich dessert of coco-tapioca, custard, and jello, Genevieve decided that she and Samjohn her son would go home with us, borrow my shirt and extra cross trainers, and challenge us in a badminton game. And so it was.

But I tell you, the freshly brewed coffee that followed lunch was perfect, and I needed Kleenex to wipe my smeared lips. Life goes on ….

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/27/2004 09:36:00 AM

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Excuse me, shut up and listen to my argument!

I was standing outside the cafe and minding my own business, holding my cellphone because I had to make a call and outside's just the place where there's good signal. I turn around me and I see a bunch of people, one furiously smoking a stick of Marlboro and there's a girl, leaning back on a makeshift chair with eyes half-asleep, but her mouth kept moving. There's also a guy with jiggly butt, who actually thinks he is cute, you know, projecting a confident smile and that dazzling look in his eyes. And guess what, they're all arguing about a packet of chips and it's pros and cons. I walked back to the office and I saw the people at Bundling section, arguing hard, about whether spanking kids is good or bad. Finally, I sit on my chair, and I heard my guys arguing whether the president's announcement of a national financial crisis is ok or not ok for the country and the citizens. My, it's an argumentative world! And everyone wants their argument to be accepted! No wonder, the Philippines is in chaos, and maybe, this is representative of the whole world. Maybe, this is also about me and about you, and the rest, and how our different points of views mess up what otherwise would be a perfect world in peace and harmony. But right now, all I care about is making me again another perfect cup of coffee!

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/24/2004 06:04:00 PM

Monday, August 23, 2004

Cooling it down

9:55 p.m.

When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. When your 13-yr. old son sort of raises his tone on you because he doesn't want you to use his web address box for some reason, and you feel like slitting his throat, control your hands, for heaven's sake! Just close your eyes for a moment and then open them slowly, and then, without fluttering your eyelashes, YELL AT HIM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! Ok, then, if he's scared, don't cajole him, just stay a little more mad for a few minutes. Remember, the angrier you look, the better. After you have cooled down, stand up, return to him his chair, and yes, his computer because he might really need them after all! If in case he kisses you goodnight, don't forget to kiss him back before leaving his room. He's your beloved son, remember that.

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/23/2004 09:45:00 PM

I surprised myself and kinda liked it!

What in the world have I done this time? Well, probably another experiment to see for myself if my creativity still works or to find out if it really even existed from the start. In the beginning, there was Bing and Bing was bored but getting bored is never fun, so Bing decided to make a blog just so when she can't find someone to talk to, she can still talk without feeling really insane. This isn't really innovative, but nevermind. Undoubtedly, the net is entertaining and so I want to use it if I can to the max. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trading off my music, and I'm not letting down my job. I still enjoy both as they make my person. I just want a new thing. Ok, this might as well be a record of my oddities, whatever. At least, people are going to know the real me while i swing my legs and yawn in this chair, well not always. After all, I need to surprise myself sometimes, and maybe, I'm liking it...and for your info, my coffee is perfect!

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 8/23/2004 05:31:00 PM