bing'scoffeetalk

Friday, March 11, 2005

Sometimes, it is pretty annoying when my kids watch me while I dress up for something. Like last night.

“Mommy, take off those pumps, they don’t go well with that kind of formal dress”. I was almost done when Han said this. I said, “Really? Get me what suits this dress then.” She sped off downstairs while I tossed off the unwanted shoes. Anjo then asked, “Mom, why do you have to wear a hosiery? “ I said “Because it’s an evening affair, and a hose is usually appropriate.” Watching me while lying on my bed with arms under his head, he said “Umm, I don’t like them. You look formal enough with just that dress.” I looked in the full length mirror. “Hmm, let me see.” The hoses were gone in time for the set of not so conservative pair of shoes Han got for me! I hurriedly went down and joined Sam in the car before my kids could see what bag it is I brought. It’s incredible how things have changed. Just yesterday, it was me telling them what to wear, how to dress. Now, I actually respect what they have to say. It’s a good thing alright ‘cause when they dress up, they ask me if they look okay, and I would comment and they might change this and that, so I guess it’s mutual trust and respect.

It would be awful not to have your kids trust you. Yes, especially with the important things in their life, like when they seem to be swooning over someone you haven’t even seen or talked to. Wise mothers would know if their kids have big crushes or serious loves. Frankly, I wouldn’t worry about them getting this exciting feeling as long as I see they’re right in their heads. I would be more worried if no one takes interest in my kids. And so as far as I know, I’m pretty informed of what is and who is new. I’m glad they’re pretty normal and have these crushes, that they fuss about looking good and friends, and new technologies, even parties, go gigs and “walks”.

I’m all out to support them and let them enjoy the fullness of youth. Like when no matter how many times I’ve initiated grounding Anjo over games addiction, still I pushed Sam to buy him the latest slim type PS2 with two genuine controls plus 20 games so he’ll be updated. Like allowing Han to the different parties and “groupie walks” Hmm. At first, there were debutante parties (girl’s 18th birthday) where she had to wear either a gown or any classy formal wear. Then there was this different debut, a pyjamas party which she skipped attending because she heard there were guys coming and what would they be wearing, boxers? Han’s pretty suspicious about what else might happen. Then most currently, her invite is for a “Chucks debut party” where everyone’s to come in their ‘chucks’. What on earth are they going to do in there, wiggle-waggle their Converse shoes? But still, it’s ok, she can surely go with her old faded chucks.

And they can have their music, and bring over their friends, they can yell and quarrel like normal people ‘cause for all I know, they naturally make up later. It is fun to be a parent and be able to bridge the gap, to learn from your kids as you try to make them learn from you. Bridging the gap is pretty exciting, and so is knowing that while doing so, amidst the many series of opening ups and closing ins, you all keep pretty balanced, enjoy similar or non-similar stuff and are thereby guided on to a hopefully, brighter future ahead of you which is your common focus. It’s all very good, so let it be!

BING L. HERNANDO slept soundly at 3/11/2005 01:47:00 PM