bing'scoffeetalk

Pepper has a dog

2007-02-01T19:59:00.000+08:00

Feels Like Bursting

2006-09-23T23:48:00.000+08:00

We've been party hopping today, you know, that sort of thing that compels you to paste on a smile and do a lot and talking and listening to music and exchanging buss-es and filling your tummies with buffet after buffet of great food. Rows of Filipino, Italian, Japanese, countless desserts, even ice cream overflowed in various flavors! Burp! Excuse me. Why is it that regrets always sink in after the "fiesta"? It's because I feel like bursting tonight even after walking with Hannee and Pepper around the clubhouse area. I think I'll hate food for a week starting tomorrow.

Life's Never Been this Peppery

2006-09-21T22:20:00.000+08:00

LIFE'S NEVER BEEN THIS PEPPERY...

How many times do I have to type that? Well, I can't stop now. Yay! I'm back, like Sgt. Pepper's fleas! Hmm, come to think of it, that's why he deserves the name. There are times when his pinkish flesh behind the gold and light brown with streaks of black coat, gets sprinkled with some tiny black thingies smaller than font 8 periods, really pepper powdery in appearance. The difference is - can you guess? Ta-dah....! They grow - yup, like tomorrow, the tiny speck increase their size to, say, font 12. Ok, so you feel itchy now? You should be thankful you're not a dog, else there'll be season when you'll get them. No matter how adorable dogs are (of which Shi-tzus are the most huggable, ever, promise!), they get fleas and ticks sometimes. Hmm, I shouldn't be talking about Sgt. Pepper. But he's right down here at the left side of my bed, looking at me like a baby. Uh-oh, excuse me while I pick up a tiny something crawling over there. (Picks up the thing, walks to the bathroom and flushes the thing in it)

Now, where was I? Oh, a peppery life is like what this week has been. I've been in a boring but important IAS-IFRS seminar (ha ha! You don't know that, do you? Well, it's a financial seminar, period.) at Manila Peninsula Hotel with Merlie (you should know her, she's been a part of my life for a year now). Merlie thinks the venue was a nice and cool place to snore off while sitting down, to which I agreed, but I'm not really an easy sleeper. Well I have to admit I almost dozed off for some minutes past Wednesday's lunch after we were served smoked pink salmon as appetizer, dazzling chicken roast with potato, really yummy gravy sauce, plus mixed jazzed-up veggies, and a dessert of really heavenly chocolatey tiramisu and some tiny mango-crepe tarts, served with whips of chocolate and strawberry jel design here and there. To recap, eating beautifully garnished food and sipping nice brewed coffee were the best part of the seminar. All the rest are lullabyers. Wait, I'm not after that topic either. Sorry for the tendency to stray away.

What I only really wanted to say was: I've been necessarily bored to death for days, after which, I've been running like mad to finish off some work, and I can't push people enough to go live with SAGE ACCPAC Enterprise. Then Sam has to go somewhere north where the wind blows, leaving me (again!) to bring Han and Anjo to two weekend parties of his relatives. I haven't got the time to even go shopping for gifts and that royal attire that's supposed to be worn. (Genevieve, why o why is your party motiff Royal?) On top of this, I want to shed tears because today, a good friend just said goodbye to go off somewhere soon. People touching our lives for a reason is such a poignant reality, and then they go, and something goes kaput inside of you.

If only I haven't said yes to a morning breakfast buffet meeting (a.k.a. -gang gripe session), I will elaborate on what a peppery life is. But I have to go snooze early to wake up in time for that date and try to memorize a mantra before the event. Overeating is sinful... (recites 7x) It's nice to hug a just-bathed Sgt., lightly cologned Sgt. Pepper, with or without his peppery streaks. Goodnight!

Unexpected Perfect Morning-well almost!

2005-04-25T11:27:00.000+08:00

Journal April 23, 2005

For Sam and myself, it is extremely difficult to wake up and shake up at 4 a.m. but since Hannalee had arranged to go see Ocean Adventure at Subic Point with the others, we lazily but hastily got up to bring her and the others to the meeting spot. Sam stashed a bike inside the van in case I have the appetite to go biking somewhere.

After the drop, we decided to drive to Amari Complex at Roxas Boulevard because Sam so wished I’d be tempted to go biking again. Watching the colorful bikers drive fast in clusters along big circles, dressed to the teeth (I think I only saw two demure females biking in femme fashion out of maybe seventy bikers), I remembered I almost lost my face in a bike fall last year. With that thought, I’d rather do brisk walking by the seaside.

We jogged slow then faster, along the jogger’s path by the seawall, as our trainers stumped on the brick laden walk of several hectares, but we got bored early so we climbed the seawall and ran on top of it, one after the other. The other joggers stared at us and we laughed, what the heck! Ah, but the boulders by the seawalls, about the size of those at Stonehenge in UK, but round ones, looked inviting. So we got the thrill of going down the seawall, and hopped-balanced on the long pile of boulders, careful not to fall or get caught in between them. We climbed back onto the seawall after the L-turn and saw a big group of people, mostly females, led by a cool-looking male in bodyfit, doing aerobics and tae-bo routines along danceable music. It looked fun, so we joined in, until Sam felt awkward with the beat and told me to stay on while he goes biking. He got back in time as the crowd was breaking away and the sun was getting too hot for my skin.

Tired and sweaty, we got back to our Revo, changed clothing and drove towards Global City where Sam said I’d enjoy the best-tasting coffee ever. I thought we looked clumsy entering the classy UCC Coffee Terrace, looking worn out. But we got in, rugged carpenter shorts, tees and soiled rubber shoes, and settled to a wonderful breakfast in the most relaxed mood; once in a while stealing a glance on the other table where a past-president’s notorious and balding legal counsel was chattering giddily with some Chinos. While attacking my Japanese cheesecake, and sipping on my delicious iced sumiyaki, someone handed me an invite to see a condo showcase up the same building.

That morning, I fell in love at the penthouse condo unit overlooking the Golf course and Global City. Dreamy to be living in a breezy, comfy and stylishly elegant home atop a thirty floor high rise, with all the amenities. Sam was quick to check the heart-rending figures and told me if I were willing to make some adjustments, we can get one unit to invest in. Oh well, I’ll think about it or maybe forget it, but more on the latter. We’ll see what happens after the kids see it on Tuesday, on the launching dinner.

As it was very late, and I have people working in the office, I deemed I’d go just the way I am. I did, and was relieved that my staff wasn’t at all that shocked to see me all rugged and plain. Hmm, if only I’m not so worried that my kids are growing up so fast that I can’t cope up with, it’s all so good!

Absolution by Muse: Reckless and Powerful

2005-03-17T15:27:00.000+08:00

I’ve just listened completely to the “Absolution”, album by Muse and I am awed, struck by their music, And to think that I’ve kept deferring listening to it, thinking how uncomfortable I might feel about the dark themes they chose to explore. I was totally wrong. I think they dared be like evangelists, ‘cause you can just sense in the tremolo-laden voice of the vocalist, and the dramatic, goose-pimpling deluge of emotions of the guitar, piano and drums, the urgency of the message that they wish to convey, or at least unintentionally conveyed.

The first song declares an emergency; about changing the course of history. Just stop a while and savor the song. Indeed, the end is coming, and where shall that bring us? The second song, Time is Running Out reinforces that. Our time is running out, you can’t push it underground; you can’t stop it screaming out. It takes a believer to Sing for Absolution, that says the following in the end: “our wrongs remain unrectified, and our souls won’t be exhumed.” Even Stockholm Syndrome puts to reality what Solomon learned about life, when he said, “Vanity, everything is vanity!” Maybe, that was exactly what they had in mind when they penned these words: “look to the stars, let hope burn in your eyes, and we’ll love and we’ll hate, and we’ll die, all to no avail….”

Grossly for you, Falling Away With You, does not at all contradict the first songs, as it emphasizes the preciousness of time and something of more value in “all the loves we threw away, all the hopes we cherished, making the same mistakes again…all of the love we’ve left behind, watching the flashbacks intertwine, memories I will never find.” I mean there can’t be a more beautiful way of saying, “we screwed up, we should have known better!”

Oh, and Hysteria, it vividly describes the confusion of a man within as something bugs him, twists him around, endlessly caves him in and turns him inside out. It’s clearly turmoil in a man’s being, a battle that only he can choose to win, if and when someone asks something of a man, described in “’cause I want it now, give me your heart and soul. I’m not breaking out, last chance to lose control.” The response is hysteric, “I’ll feel my heart implode, I’m breaking out, escaping now (transition of which is wonderful!) feeling my faith erode.” And can you really afford to be in a total Blackout even when you’re young? It says “don’t kid yourself, and don’t fool yourself. This life could be the last (can’t be more true!) and we’re too young to care.” Oh well, no one is too young or too old to die.

The theme gets better with Butterflies and Hurricanes as it talks about “changing everything you are and everything you were.” What is meant by “Your number has been called?”. For me, it has something to do with the final judgment, when we all give account of ourselves in the great white throne on that exciting day. “Fights and battles have begun, revenge will sure come, your hard times are ahead…your last chance has arrived”. Oh, isn’t materialism epitomized in The Small Print? It’s about the devil deceiving people, compensating their greed with broken hearts. He is bending the truth but if one believes him, he only has himself to blame. Endlessly, well, for me it’s a promise that only God can keep. He just won’t give up on us, no matter how stubborn and bad we may be. His love is endless and if one believes Him, he won’t be let down.

Lastly, “Thoughts of a Dying Atheist.” This follows up on Hysteria, where the battle has been previously told. Who is it that is said to be “in this room” and “floating in between where our worlds collide”. Talk about life on earth, hell and heaven and the reality of these all bombarding the thoughts of a dying person. Dying is only physical ‘cause it is but a transition from earthly life, which is not even a fraction of eternity. Truly, it should scare the hell out of any unbeliever.

So much so that I think, that just like U2, Creed, Lifehouse, and Switchfoot, this band Muse is actually out to influence the world in a positive way. Watch out, they’re powerful, reckless and out to save and who knows who responds?

Trust: the Bridge Over Troubled Waters

2005-03-11T13:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, it is pretty annoying when my kids watch me while I dress up for something. Like last night.

“Mommy, take off those pumps, they don’t go well with that kind of formal dress”. I was almost done when Han said this. I said, “Really? Get me what suits this dress then.” She sped off downstairs while I tossed off the unwanted shoes. Anjo then asked, “Mom, why do you have to wear a hosiery? “ I said “Because it’s an evening affair, and a hose is usually appropriate.” Watching me while lying on my bed with arms under his head, he said “Umm, I don’t like them. You look formal enough with just that dress.” I looked in the full length mirror. “Hmm, let me see.” The hoses were gone in time for the set of not so conservative pair of shoes Han got for me! I hurriedly went down and joined Sam in the car before my kids could see what bag it is I brought. It’s incredible how things have changed. Just yesterday, it was me telling them what to wear, how to dress. Now, I actually respect what they have to say. It’s a good thing alright ‘cause when they dress up, they ask me if they look okay, and I would comment and they might change this and that, so I guess it’s mutual trust and respect.

It would be awful not to have your kids trust you. Yes, especially with the important things in their life, like when they seem to be swooning over someone you haven’t even seen or talked to. Wise mothers would know if their kids have big crushes or serious loves. Frankly, I wouldn’t worry about them getting this exciting feeling as long as I see they’re right in their heads. I would be more worried if no one takes interest in my kids. And so as far as I know, I’m pretty informed of what is and who is new. I’m glad they’re pretty normal and have these crushes, that they fuss about looking good and friends, and new technologies, even parties, go gigs and “walks”.

I’m all out to support them and let them enjoy the fullness of youth. Like when no matter how many times I’ve initiated grounding Anjo over games addiction, still I pushed Sam to buy him the latest slim type PS2 with two genuine controls plus 20 games so he’ll be updated. Like allowing Han to the different parties and “groupie walks” Hmm. At first, there were debutante parties (girl’s 18th birthday) where she had to wear either a gown or any classy formal wear. Then there was this different debut, a pyjamas party which she skipped attending because she heard there were guys coming and what would they be wearing, boxers? Han’s pretty suspicious about what else might happen. Then most currently, her invite is for a “Chucks debut party” where everyone’s to come in their ‘chucks’. What on earth are they going to do in there, wiggle-waggle their Converse shoes? But still, it’s ok, she can surely go with her old faded chucks.

And they can have their music, and bring over their friends, they can yell and quarrel like normal people ‘cause for all I know, they naturally make up later. It is fun to be a parent and be able to bridge the gap, to learn from your kids as you try to make them learn from you. Bridging the gap is pretty exciting, and so is knowing that while doing so, amidst the many series of opening ups and closing ins, you all keep pretty balanced, enjoy similar or non-similar stuff and are thereby guided on to a hopefully, brighter future ahead of you which is your common focus. It’s all very good, so let it be!

My Christmas Message to my Friends

2004-12-29T13:54:00.000+08:00

It's Christmas time alright! Ever felt like it seems somebody else's big holiday and you are just a spectator? Well, I kinda feel that sometimes. In the houses around, dancing lights are lit both inside and out in the front gardens. Underneath the overly decorated Christmas trees are gaily wrapped gifts, altogether worth whatever extra money was left after overstocking the pantries and refs with ham and queso de bola and other sinfully delicious fruitcakes and goodies to feed the would be guests, the malls are busy, and the streets are ever crowded with frantic shoppers, and endlessly trimmed with rows and rows of lanterns and bells, and wreaths, and always, they glittered! I see all these as you see them. Christmas carollers can't be stopped by the confused barking of guard dogs, askals or with breeds! The spirit is so filled with fanciful things, and only a few really manage to insert the figure of the true Celebrant, whose birth and selfless giving is the true reason for the season.

(Did I hear you say "Bah humbug!?")

Anyway, happy holidays to everyone and may the you all have a blessed one, free from man's self-imposed ostentatiousness. Just you and the silence of the early morning when all your kids, and yes, your extended family, are back in their beds and your noche buena is over and the early morning darkness brings with it the world's collective hush for a distant event so magnificent that we humans have not really found a proper way to celebrate it. Bask in its wonder, be still in its joy, just sit there and be in awe. And then have a Merry Christmas!

Love, sincerely,

Bing

Giving Away Love – Christmas Mania

2004-12-29T13:41:00.000+08:00

This is a season of cheer, of food, and sheer shopping madness! Or is it?

I bring out a bag of gifts to lessen the pile of gifts underneath the little Christmas tree and when I get home, I bring along a bigger bag from my generous givers! Fantastic!

I mean, the vital idea is not in the physical things that we give to each other. It is the shudder of joy we get as we receive the merrily wrapped items. Why so, because it feels like a gentle pat on the back, or on the arm, or on our cheek that says, “You’re thought of ‘cause you matter.”, or "I care for you enough to take time to get this" or "Hey, I love you, get me?" or "For all you've been, I still care, whatever" or simply yet, it's a soft nudge in your heart that says it all.

So, as we open our gifts, let’s rid our minds of tag prices, or the utility, or the beauty of the presents but the thought and time spent in giving it.

As the years go by, we learn more about gifts and giving of ourselves, and what love means on a dark and cloudy day, a man hung crying in the rain, because of love, yes because of love……

“As little children, we would dream of Christmas morn,
Of all the gifts and toys we knew we'd find,
But we never realized, a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason that He gave His life
We were the reason that He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live.”

My Company-Aiming for Global Competitiveness

2004-12-29T11:57:00.000+08:00

When we heard about the abolishment of the US quota, the Newtimes Group in the Philippines, simply put, was shaken. Our comfort zones suddenly cluttered with many concerns, namely: stiff competition, China’s edge, cost-cutting, human resource optimization, detailing critical points and more. It is certainly bothersome. The inevitable comes, and the whole world looks at it with different views. By January 2005, the garments sector fully integrates into the GATT principles, an important key of which is the protection of domestic industries through strict implementation of sound tariffs, not import quotas. Freed from restrictions, we’re supposed to enjoy quota free status, but the thought of competing with more established countries breathtakingly-threatens rather than refreshingly-exhilarates our nerves.

Not disheartened but reacting positively, the Newtimes Philippines management responded urgently to the challenge. Mr. Ulysses Young, determinedly focused on improving competitiveness, by way of improving the quality of our produced garments, upgrading production facilities for greater efficiency, and inspiring solidarity of purpose. The idea is to work harder, get better, cascade the synergy mania horizontally and vertically. Altogether, we say no to pessimism. Fearless and bold, we’ll go beyond survival and succeed!

I wish I were Sassy, but no, not like our dog!

2004-09-23T17:41:00.000+08:00

When I was in the first year at the university, my cute, fashionable, Chinese looking crush chose a pretty, normal, sassy girlfriend who wore make-up and chick clothes, showed her teeth a lot and who, was pretty confident laughing around with boys (proof: she held hands with maybe 75% of the guys she talked to). Most girls were like her though, and somehow, I almost always got invited to their company but only once (or twice?) did I go, feeling weird and out, and pretty allergic with one beer shot or whatever that wine was called. I preferred hanging out with two girls who used curlers on their hair and two more, who, like myself, collected Sanrio and other Gift Gate accessories that looked out of tune with our Lee or Levis shirts, denim jeans, and happy feet sandals. My hair by the way, was long, parted in the middle, with two tiny braids on each side of my temple tied on the ends by Little Twinstars. Well, I was prude and maybe, not so normal. The day I knew my crush and that girl was on, I hung up a poster in our wall that said, “Normal is boring,” to remind myself that I was special and that girl was not.

I had a lot of friends, but they’re not the cool ones that enrolled in tennis or swimming P.E. classes, jammed up their acoustic guitars, smoked in the lobby, hang around the campus after class hours and knew how Carlos Primero tasted, and maybe knew more stuff. My gang of five naïve-looking girls, and sometimes a few good boys, went out to buy books, ate dimsum, splurged on shakes, or rode crazy bump cars. That was more fun for us than partying with alcohol and smoke!

Yes, I wasn’t mainstream. I though my friendships were nice but not that stimulating. My thoughts were profound and complicated, but I’ve managed to keep them in the safe level.

Sometime later, I grew tired of people noticing my cute braids, disposed of my sanrios, and started wearing boots that went well with my tightly fitting jeans but still not-girly looking shirts. Yes, sexy was still wasn’t me, but I learned that I can laugh easy, smile more, greet the guys first, and somehow, make some guitar bearing boys standby at the door for me after class hours, bearing the normal friendship niceties. Do I need say they’re fun?

I mellowed down over the years or I thought so, but maybe not, because I got myself a cute, nerdy looking guy fully convertible into an algebraic machine.

I didn’t at all become chick and sassy and can’t for the life of me become one. Don’t get me wrong. I may cringe at the thought of wearing tube tops, strappy halters, minis, shampoo-commercial hairstyle and crimson red manicures, but I know how to appreciate them on others. I have my statement that’s very me and quite normal. I like RL and Lacoste bags but I’d pretty much don a nice cheap bag as well. I’d drool over stylish heels from Bass, Nine West and clothes from Anne Taylor or Prada, but I can strut around Mega or Shangrila Malls comfortably in strappy slippers, age faded capris and casual t-shirts, Giordano or unnamed.
I’m not even updated with gadgets, and don’t really know what’s cool about iPods, but my husband gave me a nice Nokia with camera. That was because everybody else wanted me to junk my old cellphone, which unfortunately, landed on one of my kids. Well, I can pretty much operate the computer, and the yahoo messenger.

I wish I were more Sassy and stylish to the point of normal, though. However, to this day, I have never seen Sex and the City, not even Friends, and the only thing I really enjoy watching, still not always, in the afternoons is A Girl named Raven.

By the way, what in the world is IPL and mesotheraphy?

Banned on the Road!

2004-09-16T18:44:00.000+08:00

How stupid of me to forget it’s a Thursday! Oh yeah, I was absent yesterday, but the police officer wouldn’t accept that as an excuse from a lady plying along the road at 8:30 a.m. in a noticeably big suv whose plate ends in “7”. You see, Kitty, our traffic scheme is the weirdest of all because in order to reduce traffic on the road, the Land Transportation Commission (see, it’s educational! ) prohibits plate nos. 1&2 on Mondays, 3&4 on Tuesdays, 5&6 on Wednesdays. 7&8 on Thursdays, and 9&0 on Fridays specifically during the rush hours. Call it silly, but it works fine! But because the road I pass through is a minor road, I sort of had the courage to violate that rule several times until I got caught one time! Needless to say, I got away with it with my cuteness (no violent reactions please!) and wits but not without a lesson learned and yeah, a scolding from my worried husband! I promised myself I will not do it again, but I guess I broke that promise today! Why was I born so imperfect?

I’ve got to thank my son Anjo, who called just in the nick of time as I was about to zoom out on the road again. He said “Mom, tomorrow is Friday, I’m reminding you I’ve got to go to that recollection!” I held the phone, with mouth agape “Do you mean it’s Thursday today?” My smart kiddo said “Oh, you weren’t caught this morning eh, and you won’t be tonight, thank me! I love you!”

Ok. I am a law-abiding citizen. I just paid some property taxes yesterday even if it hurt Sammy’s pocket so big. I am good. The rules are rightful and needed, but it doesn’t mean I am not peeved that I have to wait another hour to get home! Life sucks at times, but it’s mostly beautiful especially when beautiful and loving people abound in your life. Oh well, waiting works patience! Yes, I need lots and lots of patience (repeat twice like a mantra). How do I write down my whistling? Sigh, I can’t figure out. There’s one thing I got to do while waiting, yes, at the coffee nook. It will be black and without sugar this time!

LOVE COMES IN ALL COLORS!!!

2004-09-14T16:21:00.000+08:00

It rained frankfurters and footlongs yesterday up to this morning, but I’m sure glad it’s gone now because my darling daughter Hannalee is coming down all the way from Baguio, the mountaintop city. The air smells like a morning when the papayas are in bloom even when there are no papaya trees around, I wonder what makes it so, hmmm, so cheery smelling. It’s nice to wake up when it’s not that hot (seldom happens!), except that Anjo won’t eat his breakfast properly again! I couldn’t grasp why, at 13, he has to be told to finish his food well and fast! And I’ve gulped down two perfect cups of UCC coffee! Oh well, he always makes it to the last minute anyway, when his car pool goes beepy beep…there he goes, like speedy Gonzales or Road Runner basking outside the yellow sun!

Life begets life, that’s what makes living more colorful and relevant! This boy who gets around me always like sticky glue is the fruit of my womb, and so is his sister! My, I couldn’t imagine the two of them came from my little body! Wonder of wonders! What more awed feeling does the mother of Carlos (one of 9 broods) get when she looks at her six footers? And why isn’t it called six feeter, anyway?

I’ve had it with trying to download Elliot Smith! Who cares to be queued 61? Not me! So there goes the pleasure of listening to another famous person who committed suicide! Hey, is this the price they pay for too much pomp and popularity? Looks like it is! (Is death black or is it like the color of fire?) Maybe, I’ll try again next time, for the love of Cheesecake!

Dropping by at French Baker before closing time to buy lots and lots of muffins and bread at 50% off is a real hassle to me and Sam, and who says we get to save? Oh well, maybe for the fun of it, and because of fondness for multi-colored muffins and bread, we fall in line, buy more than we can consume and feel good about having so much food stashed in the ref and pantry. Who can tell if it’s at 50% off anyway, they’re all the same with the regular priced, the blueberries, the yellow cheeses, the orange canapés, especially when you’re eating it the next day! Have muffins delight while driving, why not?

The best thing about today is having helped save a precious life! There’s only one Giver of life, and He is the one to decide when to take it. Let’s give life a chance, because each life is a gem so precious, so special. I am loved, you are loved, I can risk loving you, for the one who loves me most, loves you best! I wish you my dear friend, true love, and life at its best. Hey, is the color of love red or pink?

Sorry, I am late, (again!)

2004-09-11T08:18:00.000+08:00

As Sam snores softly while I drive our way to an old friend’s house, I became conscious of my own exhaustion. We’ve been shuttling for hours on the trafficky road, to get home, to eat, to deliver a gift to someone we love, to fetch Anjo from school (good that Han didn’t have to be fetched!), to bring Anjo home, and after I told Sam I wanted him to go with me to this wake, he said “Let’s get on and finish this day!”. Ok, let’s!

When I heard that Mel’s mom just died, I thought to myself “how sad”, another death; there have been some other parents’ death that we knew lately. I guess this age we’re in is a scary stage because it’s the age when our parents seemingly die. Isn’t it a bit troublesome to think you just might lose your parents soon? I’ve lost my Papa some years back, but I wince at the thought of losing my Mama. Come to think of it, these guys are “lucky” they’ve reached a ripe age and lived a full life. Some people die much earlier, some in their twenty’s, some in their teen years, some were even babies!

Oh well, there are different ways to die too, but I bet it’s not only me who wonder if there are also differences on what actually transpire after dying. What does really happen when we die? Death, I think, is one of the greatest mysteries there’s ever been. People are afraid of death because it is an unknown experience. We can only imagine, read, and theorize on what actually occurs, but we will never know what it truly is until we experience it ourselves. But, touchy, prospectively, one day, we too will be dead! So who’s scared? Not me, not now.

I think it’s going to be an awesome experience; dying to live eternally, well, if one has believed!. I am talking about real believing; the kind you do with your deepest self. Now don’t think too hard, because it is a gift that you will have to receive one special time in your life. Discover it yourself and have faith because good old amazing grace is still the bottom line of discovery. (God, please help me, I don’t want to be preachy but, please, can you reach my friends!) If that time comes, we can say, Death, where is your sting?

We finally arrived at the wake, and Sam got up from his sweet slumber, how i envy him. Suddenly, my friends were whimpering that I was late again! It’s no surprise for them to hear me murmuring , “ssssh, I’m sorry, I’m late ‘cause I was really busy, blah blah blah!”

It Didn't Work

2004-08-31T23:55:00.000+08:00

When I want to fill up my mind with something I like to think about, I have to empty it first. It’s 11:30 pm and it’s been a full day. Ok. I’m emptying it….emptying it…emptying it….. Sassy’s tugging at my toes….emptying it….ouch… emptying it…Sassy’s biting now….emptying it….Oh shucks! Ok, my head’s still full, blame Sassy. My thoughts are really a total mess. I am still amazed that Sam dated me at a Japanese resto, bought me three new pairs of shoes , and a new Carlton badminton racket that comes with a cool red bag! I mean he did everything at one time! I’m just not used to not paying anything! Would he ask me to pay his cellphone bill when it’s due? That’s a tremendous possiblity! Maybe I’d pay for the my car being done at Ziebart too!

I barely talked to my kids today and I wonder if they felt like they missed one thirdh of their life. ‘Cause that’s how I feel whenever I don’t bond with them! Were they relieved that I’m almost out of their affairs? Did they actually say yahoo, yehey, wohoo? If my kids were like Rishi, they probably would have rejoiced! (True, Rish?)
Lunching out with three guys who are really after the errors that’s been committed in my department isn’t exactly my idea of a pleasant time, but I enjoyed it anyway. Well, it helped that Ariel’s order of deep fried frogs’ legs were not available. Derek’s been talking like a long time friend and I wasn’t at all faking being nice to Leo. May I have the tolerance to entertain and attend to these chinky eyed, fair yellow-skinned, creatures that bug my life every five months or six months.
Next time, maybe I can empty my mind, and probably say something that makes more sense. Bear with me now please. Oh, yeah, special friend out there, I can’t stop thinking about you too! I’ll have you right here in my heart as I sleep tonight!!! Goodnight!

Celebrate Life!

2004-08-30T08:20:00.000+08:00

Saturday: Late night movie with family, hanging out at Seattle's Best with Han and Anjo and Sam, sipping Frafuccino's and mocha cafe's, pigging out on belgian waffles and blueberry muffins and other such delights, watching a local band perform at the open promenade. Yes, let's celebrate life!

Sunday: Surprisingly early at church at 8:09 a.m., happy morning choir practice open forum at the professional couple's Victory class provided a healthy exhange of no-nonsense ideas. Some shared bits of sadness but with hope, some shared joys unspeakable, some simply made their presence known, by smiling, by shaking hands, by laughing. It all makes a lot of sense to me, these things we do to keep aflame with the beauty of ourselves, in the wonderful bosom of God, nourished by His Word. Such fellowship, such sharing, such love! My heart is overwhelmed as I take on at all these and I wanted to break out in a song!

Sometimes life seems like words and music, that can't quite become a song. So we cry inside, and we try again and wonder what could be wrong. But when we turn to the Lord at the end of ourselves, like we've done a time or two before, we'll find His truth is the same as it's always been, we never will need more. He's all we need for our every need, we never need to be alone. Still, He'll let us go if we choose to, to live life on our own. Then the only good that will ever be said, of the pain we find ourselves in, they are places to gain, the wisdom to say, "I'll never leave Him again."

It's not in trying but in trusting. It's not in running but in resting. It's not in wondering but in praying that we find the strength of the Lord!

Kleenex, please!

2004-08-27T09:36:00.000+08:00

I hate crying at funerals but then, I almost always do, even if it's a far out relative like my husband's Uncle Vicente. At least I didn't beat his kids into it. Yvonne, the youngest of them, wailed like a mad cow as the men lowered that expensive silver box put inside another white concrete box using pulleys. Celi, the doctor, stood tough except that I saw her fighting back her tears as her shoulders shook at the mass held earlier in the chapel. Ditas, the nurse, who flew right out from US was quite poised, but her eyes were already swollen red due to sleeplessness and crying.

I liked Ditas instantly when I saw her. She stood from that front pew at the funeral parlor two nigths ago and greeted me as if we've known each other for ages. She hugged me and kissed me and while I bussed and hugged back, it took a while for me to figure out that she was the eldest of the three sisters that lost their dad. She exuded warmth, sincerity and she spoke well. Auntie Cely, their mom, looked calm but agonized, and I felt so much for her as she looked down and saw the last of her lover, her best friend and her lifelong companion. I shed tears, how embarrassing, but can't find my packet of Kleenex. Goodness, Genevieve, Sam's other cousin borrowed it and didn't care to return! Ok, let the tears dry by itself! Genevieve tugged at her Dad and whispered to him that he will also be experiencing the same joy ride inside a box by the pulleys sometime and, would you believe, Esther, her sister, seconded the motion! The old man must have felt really bad, and so I gave that hmmp look at the two naughty ladies, but they just laughed as their dad said " I can't do anything about that."

It felt weird seeing Sam and Genevieve taking videos and pics of all the events and people there earlier, especially those who stood by the side of the dead, who I thought, got overexposed even when he couldn't say "cheese" anymore. Imagine, the people actually posed beside the dead!

As Celi announced that they were hosting lunch at The Fort, Sam and I wondered what it was we were celebrating, surely not uncle's dying! Oh great, Celi, now looking bright, introduced us to her boyfriend who came in late, an army ex-colonel, Geoffrey. Maybe I committed a blunder because Celi's eyes widened at me when I kinda asked, "Is he the first one I've heard?" Oh, well, blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better of themselves even after committing a blunder. Now, where was I?

Yvonne was suddenly cheerful at lunch, and Sam asked her, where have you just been? It seemed like we're on a TGIF gimmick as the place buzzed with happy folks greeting one another and feasted on about eight courses of dishes that liberally flowed onto each table. Auntie Cely came to me, thanked me for the black blazer she wore, and complimented me as very "guapa" in my black flowy dress with embroidered hem! I felt like her true niece and their true cousin, much loved, very much accepted. Over our rich dessert of coco-tapioca, custard, and jello, Genevieve decided that she and Samjohn her son would go home with us, borrow my shirt and extra cross trainers, and challenge us in a badminton game. And so it was.

But I tell you, the freshly brewed coffee that followed lunch was perfect, and I needed Kleenex to wipe my smeared lips. Life goes on ….

Excuse me, shut up and listen to my argument!

2004-08-24T18:04:00.000+08:00

I was standing outside the cafe and minding my own business, holding my cellphone because I had to make a call and outside's just the place where there's good signal. I turn around me and I see a bunch of people, one furiously smoking a stick of Marlboro and there's a girl, leaning back on a makeshift chair with eyes half-asleep, but her mouth kept moving. There's also a guy with jiggly butt, who actually thinks he is cute, you know, projecting a confident smile and that dazzling look in his eyes. And guess what, they're all arguing about a packet of chips and it's pros and cons. I walked back to the office and I saw the people at Bundling section, arguing hard, about whether spanking kids is good or bad. Finally, I sit on my chair, and I heard my guys arguing whether the president's announcement of a national financial crisis is ok or not ok for the country and the citizens. My, it's an argumentative world! And everyone wants their argument to be accepted! No wonder, the Philippines is in chaos, and maybe, this is representative of the whole world. Maybe, this is also about me and about you, and the rest, and how our different points of views mess up what otherwise would be a perfect world in peace and harmony.

But right now, all I care about is making me again another perfect cup of coffee!

Cooling it down

2004-08-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

9:55 p.m.

When you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. When your 13-yr. old son sort of raises his tone on you because he doesn't want you to use his web address box for some reason, and you feel like slitting his throat, control your hands, for heaven's sake! Just close your eyes for a moment and then open them slowly, and then, without fluttering your eyelashes, YELL AT HIM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN! Ok, then, if he's scared, don't cajole him, just stay a little more mad for a few minutes. Remember, the angrier you look, the better. After you have cooled down, stand up, return to him his chair, and yes, his computer because he might really need them after all! If in case he kisses you goodnight, don't forget to kiss him back before leaving his room. He's your beloved son, remember that.

I surprised myself and kinda liked it!

2004-08-23T17:31:00.000+08:00

What in the world have I done this time? Well, probably another experiment to see for myself if my creativity still works or to find out if it really even existed from the start. In the beginning, there was Bing and Bing was bored but getting bored is never fun, so Bing decided to make a blog just so when she can't find someone to talk to, she can still talk without feeling really insane. This isn't really innovative, but nevermind. Undoubtedly, the net is entertaining and so I want to use it if I can to the max. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trading off my music, and I'm not letting down my job. I still enjoy both as they make my person. I just want a new thing. Ok, this might as well be a record of my oddities, whatever. At least, people are going to know the real me while i swing my legs and yawn in this chair, well not always. After all, I need to surprise myself sometimes, and maybe, I'm liking it...and for your info, my coffee is perfect!